So, if even upright and blameless Job experienced God’s stillness during tragedy, then we must expect that we will too. Waiting to brought into full time music ministry for the past 7 years, waiting to have a child for the past 3 years.. waiting for the adoption of my nephew to go through for 3 years. Follow While I'm Waiting on WordPress.com. The bouquet is sitting on the counter in front of our large kitchen window. His suffering was severe, and there was nothing we could do to help him. When she tried to clean him on the right side, he moved to the left. He started biting his tongue and lips and would squeal in pain. His therapist was somewhat reluctant to say he would eat again but finally gave in. But, I only had to wait one year till he decided he wanted to ask a friend to Homecoming. Many times during physical therapy, they both walked back and forth in the gym with their therapists, and as they passed by one another, they held their hands up high to give one another a high five. A walkway connects the rooms and curves from one end of the horseshoe to the other. Many times during TJ’s illness, God showed me that He was with me and was walking right beside me. While I’m Waiting. The surgeon came out after it was over. Kelly Denham, the boy’s mother, tells the story of when God’s unfailing love met unimaginable suffering. Now that TJ and Tom are together in heaven, we wonder if they laugh and talk about us, too. However, her father and I instinctively knew that this was the end. We ate lunch at the Canadian Honker, took coffee breaks at the Caribou across the street, and once in awhile went for ice cream. They then put chest tubes in, which are very painful, to remove the air. His body was starting to do strange things. Follow While I'm Waiting on WordPress.com Recent Posts. “‘For I know the plans I have for you’, declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. The links in this post may contain affiliate links, which means that if you click on the link(s) and purchase an item (at no additional cost to you). They were quite entertaining to watch. In early October, I asked for a transfer back to Mayo, so he was loaded up onto a helicopter and flown to Mayo for a second time. The popular song is a celebration of the holiday season that quickly puts the listener in the mood for Christmas. We were trying desperately to suction him, but because he couldn’t open his mouth, we couldn’t get the secretions out. The sickest kids have the most equipment and need more space. We told him we planned on getting him a mini fridge that he could keep water and Gatorade in for him and his friends, and like any guy would be, he was more excited about the mini fridge than the comforter, pictures, and shower curtain color. The events of the owl sighting immediately reminded me of a story I wrote about in Chapter 15: “Many years prior to TJ’s heart surgery, I read a story about a Christian woman who loved cardinals. When TJ asked about it again, we told him we were sorry, and we reassured him we would definitely get him one soon. “I don’t know. They loved each other, they hated each other; they fought, they made up; they were embarrassed of each other, they defended each other; they told on each other, and they covered up for each other. I wanted so badly to talk to her. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! She was wonderful at it. While I was a resident, I felt an overwhelming sense of love from the employees, volunteers, and other families with sick children. $ 0.00. She took ownership of it and having her there gave me a tremendous break. During the years her son was ill, Kelly Denham kept a journal of daily events and later brought the story to life as she processed her own healing. While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint I'll be running the race Even while I wait I'm waiting I'm waiting on You, Lord And I am peaceful I'm waiting on You, Lord Though it's not easy But faithfully, I will wait Yes, I will wait But scripture also says that the person who lives with a broken spirit will feel the effects of it right down to their bones as their defeated attitude saps them of all their strength. After struggling with him for 45 minutes, she told him it was time to get out. Get it together.” However, unbeknownst to us, our descent into hell had already begun. Well, a few months ago, he began leaving hints here and there that a year has come and gone. As I’ve been reading over TJ’s Caring Bridge posts, I came across a poem my husband posted several years ago. The heart logo is the symbol that represents the love the charity has for its families. But since coming home, all they had done together was sit in a hospital. Tears filled my eyes and I quickly went and scooped her up! On Tuesday, it was after 9pm when I finally pulled into our driveway. Directly across from the bed in TJ’s rehab room was a white board with the names of his rehab doctors and therapists. Ten years ago we moved into this house and for ten years, we made the house work. Why Should You Shop from Home More Often. All three of us sauntered down the stairs to the bedroom together to reveal the surprise. Im standing on your prom.. From across the room, Tom would yell, “TJ, work hard! In the beginning of TJ’s hospitalization, she was frustrated and didn’t understand why God would bring her here to be TJ’s caregiver just to sit in a hospital day after day with him, but after TJ’s death, she was able to look back and see God’s loving hand orchestrating her move back home at just the right time so she could spend every single day of the last three months of TJ’s life with him. Sometimes during therapy, TJ and Tom were in the gym at the same time. His testimony during that season is powerful, and he is now prosperous and reaping rewards for his faithfulness. In its place he wrote “Dr. “While I’m Waiting” is a song by the Christian artist, John Waller. Thank you for posting these scriptures. TJ’s youth pastor and kids from his youth group came back to the room to show their support. I clicked on it, and it was the video Praise You in this Storm by Casting Crowns. My MIA status is largely due to the fact that I’m in the middle of writing a book about TJ’s story. An Elf Kindness Challenge + free printables! I'm left thinking of you dear, while I'm waiting here I haven't seen the sun Since it rested on your shoulder While we walked along that vacant river side They carried me away To a place where I get older If I cannot prove to them you never died Seems like the last time, feels like the first I may earn a small commission for finding and sharing the item(s). TJ had a sister named Chandler. She dressed him, carried him around, painted his fingernails, and styled his hair with barrettes. What do we do during the times when we don’t feel God near? And when she tried to clean him on the left side, he moved to the right. While I’m waiting I’m lifting up on wings as eagles I believe (hey) I will trust in You Everybody sings Oh oh oh, you got it, (oh oh oh) Everybody Oh oh oh. “And He said, ‘My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.’”Exodus 33:14, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.”John 13:7. In the future, whenever that animal crossed the reader’s path, it was a reminder that God was nearby. His eyes were improving, and he was starting to swallow again. Doctors were puzzled. While I’m waiting I’m getting stronger My faith is rising, and I will run on While I’m waiting I’m lifting up on wings as eagles I believe, I will trust in You. If we always feel God’s presence and know all the answers, then how would our faith ever grow? Download single from Travis Greene titled “While I’m Waiting” featuring, Chandler Moore. 6 people found this helpful. Crazy Faith is the fifth studio album by John Waller. But, on Wednesday, I was going through pictures and came across a few of the kids doing what they love. Death is incredibly painful, and it was hard watching both of our children struggle. Yesterday I took a picture of the Valentine’s bouquet I received from my husband. When we couldn’t figure it out, he became agitated and upset. The Prayer of an Unknown Confederate SoldierI asked God for strength that I might achieve.I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.I asked for health that I might do greater things.I was given infirmity that I might do better things.I asked for riches that I might be happy.I was given poverty that I might be wise.I asked for power that I might have the praise of men.I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.I was given life that I might enjoy all things.I got nothing that I asked for,but everything I hoped for.Almost despite myself,my unspoken prayers were answered.I am, among all men, most richly blessed. Right before TJ’s surgery, I had taken a Beth Moore Bible study called Believing God. However, because I didn’t want to intrude on her privacy, I kept to myself. Thank you so much for supporting While I'm Waiting...! Trapped Within is the true story of what a teenage boy was compelled to endure as the result of a surgical procedure that went wrong and what his family learned from the experience. That was how he laughed. “Kelly, come down here! Remind yourself often of times when You did feel Him walking beside you. So, I chose an owl, and throughout my adult years, whenever I saw an owl, I was reminded that God was very near. I never forgot that. This means that if you purchase a product from one of these links, myself or another blogger may earn a commission. Chandler was grief stricken to lose her brother and went home every night researching other hospitals we could transfer him to and different procedures we could try like lung transplants in hopes of prolonging his life. “Mom, TJ isn’t listening to me,” Chandler said. These special boys had fought many battles to recover their health, and now they were doing well. I knew He was with me. Doctors said they saw no reason why his improvement shouldn’t continue. But, if I've learned anything during this process, it's that our house should work for us, not the other way around! What about you? Does life ever get to be too much for you and you just feel like throwing in the towel or catching the nearest bus bound for sun and fun? It kind of sounds like an owl,” I replied. Before & After: a Little Tykes Cozy Coupe makeover! My mind ran the gamut of what ifs, and I burst into tears. Even Job, whom God called blameless and upright and one who feared God and shunned evil (Job 1:8), was struck with tragedy and unanswered questions while God remained silent. That's a long time for anyone but especially for a baby who changes so quickly! After our meeting, Janet quickly became my closest friend at the hospital. He had never really had a nice bedroom before, so we were very excited about the opportunity to surprise him. It is time I move on and tell the lessons I learned there to others. It’s hard to find a picture of them when they were youngsters without their arms around each other. Add To Cart Add To Cart. 492 talking about this. Either way, their refusal to join with me in my laughter made me laugh even more. One day Chandler gave TJ a shower, and he was irritated with her. His mouth started clamping shut, and he tried desperately to pry it apart. Although on the outside they may appear joyful, sorrow lurks just beneath the surface. The owl perched on my fence yesterday was a sign from God reminding me that I am loved and He is nearby during this difficult time. In the middle are desks, computers, and medical equipment. Imagining them both healthy, joyful, together, and not in pain anymore is a comforting thought. In my exasperation about TJ’s condition, I had come to the place where I knew I could do nothing else but laugh about it. Chorus Woah Woah Woah I believe, I will trust in You. (Jeremiah 31:3), The God I know leads me in paths of righteousness. “Since TJ’s brain injury, I had a more intimate relationship with the Lord than I had ever known. TJ was admitted into rehab twice at Mayo. Just as the young, bald-headed girl is doing in the picture below, many times I also sat in the chair by the heart window, lost in my thoughts, staring at the cars driving by. After TJ died Travis told me to take a year off to grieve before going back to work. His MRI had a few little infarcts on it, which are areas of oxygen loss, but they said it wouldn’t be causing what was going on now. Do you sometimes feel God is silent and aloof while your heart is breaking? He enjoyed joking around with his doctors and therapists and was especially fond of tormenting his pediatric physiatrist, Dr. Landry. Many times while on her way to the hospital, she called crying and said she was so anxious about taking care of him. They felt he would have some coordination issues and things wouldn’t be exactly how they once had been but said he would go to college and do most anything he wanted to do with accommodation. What about you? Relief washed over me. China was the trip destination TJ chose for his wish from Make-A-Wish. TJ was going to have a life again. Many times during this hospitalization, Chandler expressed frustration about TJ being in the hospital. our partners use cookies to personalize your experience, to show you ads based on your interests, and for measurement and analytics purposes. September 29, 2009 2 comments Article Spiritual. 10 Bible verses to encourage your student-athlete, Fashion Friday: Edition it’s a long weekend. Since I had seen TJ walking and talking in Des Moines for a week after his heart surgery, I truly didn’t believe he was as bad as the doctors at Mayo said he was. So, dear one, if you are struggling this holiday season with the death of a believer who has passed on before you, remember that your sorrow has not gone unnoticed. Laundry.”, When I arrived at TJ’s room later that morning, the nurse excitedly — and with a few giggles — retold the story and added, “I wonder how long he has been lying in that bed, staring at that board, and planning to change Dr. Landry’s name?!”. You will see them again. Growing up in Texas, some things stay the same, and some things take on a mind of their own (I blame Pinterest - but also am so thankful for Pinterest, in times like this!). The first thing he said was, “Mom, I didn’t die.” Sigh. Months after the funeral and shock wore off, although Chandler was still incredibly sad, we began to see a beautiful spirit emerge from inside of her. We just happened to be there on the same day, at the same time, and in the same building. The owl sitting on my fence the following morning was proof that Aiden and I had been correct about our assessment of the strange noise the night before. While TJ was in Texas, Travis and I planned to surprise him with a newly remodeled bedroom in the basement upon his return. She had heard what we were going through and sent me a YouTube video link. About a year ago, I began writing the book, and after completing about 100 pages, I became overwhelmed and disillusioned with the publishing process and stopped. They bowled, went to Rangers baseball games, and ate at fun restaurants, but their favorite activity together was swimming. When he saw my reluctance to begin the job search, he told me if I finished my book, I could wait a little longer. I still plan to post on my blog, but it will be sporadic. Several times after thinking of someone I hadn’t spoken to in a while, I would receive a text message from that person. Doctors told us that even if he did live past this illness, the cavities in his lungs would fill up with fluid and he would get infection after infection and the infections would eventually kill him. About a year later, TJ finally came home to live, but he never recovered back to his prior condition at Mayo. What.a.day! We celebrate His birth with family and friends. The first thing he said was, “It was complicated.”  I caught my breath and immediately asked him, “But he’s okay; right?”   He nodded. God’s presence was so near to me at that moment, enveloping me, drawing me closer. 3,230 talking about this. We felt incredibly sorry for him for the pain and suffering he was going through, and we constantly felt like we were failing him. In 2017, TJ went into the hospital a couple of days after Thanksgiving and never came home. I once again felt the hand of God guiding us. In hindsight, I believe God’s plans for TJ’s life was to point others to Jesus during his season of suffering with a brain injury. A few days later when Dr. Landry entered TJ’s room for morning rounds, TJ was in the bathroom with his nurse. We were thrilled. It went so well with the movie, on so many levels. That was my first inkling that something was wrong, but the surgeon said he was okay, so I quickly pushed it out of my head. “Psalm 34:18 says, ‘The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.’ I knew such things were not mere coincidences but rather felt they were strategically-placed love notes from God, reassuring me that I was not alone. Proverbs 17:22 of the New Living Translation says, “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.”  Scripture teaches that a cheerful heart is more than just great for the personality, it is good medicine for the body as well. He ripped his IVs out and had to be tied down to the bed. During TJ’s first hospitalization at Mayo, his diagnosis was unknown. Phew - it's been a doozy of a week! Nevertheless, they advised us that he probably would go home with major deficits and we needed to start preparing ourselves for that truth. During our visit, we spent the weekend laughing, crying, and talking about our sons and the memories they left. While in between appointments, we sat down to wait in a waiting room in the Gondola Building. Everybody sings Oh oh oh, you got it, (oh oh oh) Everybody Oh oh oh I believe, I will trust in You Oh oh oh (oh oh oh) Oh oh, oh oh oh oh I … Swallowing was still very difficult. We visited for a while and were sad when it was time to tell our friends goodbye and go to our next appointment. Some of the posts on While I'm Waiting contain clickable affiliate links. He was becoming increasingly confused. A very determined TJ, intent on a mischievous mission, walked over to the white board and erased Dr. Landry’s name with his fist. Verified Purchase. Worship While I'm Waiting. But TJ didn’t want to get out, so he wrapped his arm around the shower bar and held on for dear life as she pulled and tugged. A few days later, I finally introduced myself. We laughed and cried together and encouraged one another with God’s Word. Tom and Janet were now just down the hall from TJ and me, and we visited them frequently. The Blessing. He’s going to be fine. Due to the heart’s familiarity in the window, I sometimes forget it is there. I dreamed and planned but, honestly, I didn't have the courage to go for it. It was a time of excitement, laughter, and happiness, and it left us with a lot of fond memories. Definitely made me look back and realize they really are happiest when they are where they feel they belong. He was lying on the gurney making a silly face at me, so I snapped a picture. He knew how much this was hurting me, but He wanted me to praise Him despite the terrible storm I was in. Read more. They were testing for it, and we were anxiously awaiting the results that would shed light onto the mystery. There are moments of laughter and joy and moments of pain and sorrow. While I'm Waiting Here, Billy Strings (Advanced) Home / Tab Store / Advanced / While I’m Waiting Here, Billy Strings (Advanced) Here’s the second Billy Strings tab I’ve released on this site. We had gotten through it. I am patiently waiting for you anticipating that my blessings on its way. Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email. After taking some time to recover from losing our sons, recently Janet and I started a tradition of meeting once a year for a weekend. God is so good! I felt God’s loving arms around me and was reassured that we were in the right place. Questions like “What happened to our son?” and “How can we help him if we don’t know what’s wrong?” plagued us day and night. TJ’s unknown condition tormented Travis and me. At the end of the woman’s life, a cardinal perched outside her window as she lay dying. I learned the young man’s name was Tom and his mom’s name was Janet. It has been a few weeks since my last post, and I’ve received some questions lately as to what’s going on in my life and why I’m not posting. As we walked down the hallway to the waiting room, fear suddenly overcame me. John Waller. Enthralled by the beauty of the large bird, I stood at the door for a while trying to remember if I had ever seen an owl in person before. My niece, Christian, and her sweet baby, Elliott, were surprising us with a visit! In the waiting, God pursues our hearts more intimately and deeply. A couple of weeks after arriving at Mayo Clinic, a young man was admitted into the other corner room next to TJ’s. Doctors felt he became low on oxygen during heart surgery and had a hypoxic brain injury or a brainstem stroke, but diagnostic studies did not match his symptoms. He was hallucinating and saying crazy things. Missy. While I'm waiting I will not faint I'll be running the race even while I wait I will move ahead bold and confident I'll be taking every step in obedience, yeah While I'm waiting I will serve You While I'm waiting I will worship While I'm waiting I will not faint And I will serve You while I'm waiting I will worship while I'm waiting … Because I don’t believe in coincidences, I believe it was the love of God allowing two old war buddies to see each other one more time. They shared a close bond and were the best of friends. He was coughing and coughing and choking, and it went on and on for hours. A mother's pursuit of God while she waits for heaven, 1 Corinthians 15:55“O death, where is thy sting?O grave, where is thy victory?”. 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